At this time of year, it seems everyone resolves to DO something different, better, more. It feels like a set-up for failure, this demand that we start a new calendar year with forceful declarations of what we want to forget, leave behind, change, undo, redefine. I mean, look at what happens by March. A lot of discouraged folks walking around already defeated by their inability to make huge leaps into change.
Because that’s not how change happens.
It happens in baby steps. Moment by moment. All day, every day.
That’s why I like intention – ‘an aim or plan’ – rather than ‘the answer or solution’ of resolution. Other definitions of resolution have more to do with fading away or ending – a clear moving away from rather than toward. Intention, on the other hand, also means ‘healing process of a wound’ which has a clear sense of ongoing change.
In last week’s inside writing group we incorporated a bit of both in the dual prompts ‘what I said to myself about myself at 16’ and ‘I am running into a new year’ (from lucille clifton’s poem). Women had the chance to resolve something by leaving it behind; and intend something going forward. I love KF’s clarity about herself at 16, and how she verbs her way into the year. Can you relate to her words?
When I was 16, I said I was smart. I was talented. I was tormented. I was struck. I could do anything I wanted and no one could stop me. I told myself to run, to take control of my own life. I told myself to be clean and got clean. I was better than cocaine and I was less than perfect. Continue reading