Where will you ever find someone who can love you more than you are willing to love yourself?
– Camilla Warrick, Home is Where I Live
And yet . . . how do we learn to love ourselves? So many things stand in the way! Few parents take the time to model, let alone teach, self-love and self-care as the fundamentals to a strong and healthy life that they are. We are so busy going here and there, striving, worrying about what others will think; trying to make ends meet, put food on the table and shoes on our kids’ feet. Or running from group to lesson to social event bent on creating model children, or at least stuffing their resumes with college-proof lists of involvement and achievement.
All this doing gets in the way of the needed being. Being at home in ourselves, with ourselves. And then we wonder why our ‘love relationships’ with others disintegrate, fall into disrepair as we despair. Too much looking outside our own individual selves!
Inside prison, love is a recurring theme of conversation, motivation, response. It can often seem like the only thing worth having, seeking, leaning on. Often it is the basic instinctual love of a mother for her child – even if misguided or unfulfilled, it is strong and undeniably part of the fabric of daily experience. But there is also a lot of chatter about peer love – how to find and keep it; what went wrong with it; how awful the partner was; what trouble individuals got into as a result. Continue reading