drugs – WRITING INSIDE VT

(Photo credit: wakingphotolife:)

Last night, we had two extremely powerful writing circles inside CRCF. Opening with Maya Angelou’s poem, ‘STILL I RISE’ set the energy level for the night. To a woman, each in the circle rose to the occasion, producing powerful words and revelations. A second writing challenged each woman to condense her longer piece to a haiku-style three-line verse. JD entered into the spirit of the evening with characteristic determination – the more so, perhaps, on this eve of her departure from the facility. We wish her well as she prepares to re-enter life back home, without her ‘dear’ drug habit.

THE LIGHT OF LIFE

‘Leaving behind nights of terror and fear,’
I say goodbye to you, my dear.
It will be a long hard road, I’m sure;
as long as I keep going, my mind should stay pure.
I’m sorry our relationship has come to an end
as well as all the bad energy you send.
Our relationship one-sided, you controlled it all
and every step I took, all I did is fall.

‘I rise into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear.’
With that empowering moment, I have no fear.
I won’t let your trickery drag me down anymore.
Now I’m the one that has tricks in store.
Just like the rest of life, darkness is broken with shining light
and I will always continue the everlasting fight.
If in life you get back up every time you fall
you know with certainty that you can have it all.
– JD

LETTING GO
I say goodbye, dear;
that empowering moment
light broken darkness.
– JD

Writing to lines from the poem by Kate Light, There Comes the Strangest Moment, JD found her truth and shared it in these few powerful raw lines.

I didn’t think anyone could possibly know me more than me. No one could possibly see the storm raging inside of me. No one could see the pain and torment I was causing myself . . . could they?

I thought I covered it well with my mask of drugs and make-up. It didn’t matter they saw right through it and begged me to get help. But I wanted nothing to do with it. So I went on slowly killing myself a little bit each day. I didn’t think there was any other way, especially after I pushed everyone else that cared about me very far away.

It must not have been my time to go, because God intervened and had me locked up. I was so angry with Him, because I knew what I wanted and getting clean wasn’t it. I was convinced my downward spiral into hell was what I wanted.

Then one day, everything I thought before broke free; or maybe, it was the drugs clearing out of me; but I was grateful to be in jail. My time here is coming to an end and I know this is the real me, the one I was afraid to see. I don’t know what about her scared me so much because she is the most spiritually fit me I’ve ever seen. I have hopes and dreams today, instead of a death wish.