the autobiography of all

kolobiv.blogspot.comWe must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right. – Nelson Mandela

Autobiography of Eve
Ansel Elkins

Wearing nothing but snakeskin
boots, I blazed a footpath, the first
radical road out of that old kingdom
toward a new unknown.
When I came to those great flaming gates
of burning gold,
I stood alone in terror at the threshold
between Paradise and Earth.
There I heard a mysterious echo:
my own voice
singing to me from across the forbidden
side. I shook awake—
at once alive in a blaze of green fire.

Let it be known: I did not fall from grace.
I leapt to freedom.

This week, we delved into the mysteries of our origins – that which we’ve heard, what we know, what we don’t know, and what we can’t answer. This goes for the story of genesis as well as our own genesis. We discussed that stories of Lilith and Eve, the two fabled first wives of Adam, and the choices they made that are forever imprinted on the human story. This lead our group to both speak and write of their own experiences in mythic proportions. We asked: what is your forbidden fruit? Where has it led you?

Some of these questions are difficult to answer. Oftentimes what we regret is what leads us to greater self-knowledge. What Edens are we barred from after taking that first bite into something forbidden to us? What long wildernesses can we tie to a single choice? In the pieces below, you’ll see a series of responses to these questions. None are complete but all are explorations into these questions. These are not the words of children wandering Eden but of growth and insightful perception. They contain the multitudes that characterize the human experience. 


I hear a mysterious echo: my own voice. I feel proud to be alive today. The last couple of days have seemed better for me. I feel like I am gaining my power back. It feels freeing when I hear my own voice again. I have less anxiety these days. Things will be okay once again very soon. I just know pathways will find me a place and I will be free again to hold me up and keep me strong and dependent on no one but myself. I need to focus on me and take care for my own well being. I need to do what is expected of me so I can heal within myself. I need not get into situations that are lethal to my sanity and where I might feel as though I am going crazy in my mind because it is caught in this endless cycle of nonsense and dribble drabble to where I can’t hear myself think and things are just not logical. I am a free spirit and know now that whether or not I am in a relationship that I don’t need to become dependent on them or succumb to their every waking desire. I am not a robot which no one else can control. I control me – strong, independent women, powerful, wise. I find my courage in God the Almighty. He is my strength and guidance through it all. My father in heaven then, of course, there is my earthly father whom I also cherish and encourages me to hang onto my faith which is what gets me through most days. I am, feel blessed to be wandering this wonderful Earth. It is great to be present and alive each and every day because of who I am but not for what mistakes I have made in my past. No matter how horrible they might be, in the clear and present danger we might face each and every day, it is so good to hear the echo of my own voice once again because I know I can conquer anything I put my strength into because just today, once again, I hear a mysterious echo: my own voice.



Why Is There a Reason for This?

There is a reason why I awake from the night.
There is a reason I hear the echoes from
his voice.
There is a reason my conscience speaks to
There is a reason why I fight, why I run.
There is a reason why I cross
the line and make two ends meet.
There’s a reason for all this.

There is a reason why I’m right
and they are wrong.
There is a reason why I
choose to stand up and when I lay down
there is a reason why my life is more
important than my own death. There’s a
reason why – reason brings me back
to his voice calling me
to sleep, to rest to
nourish my body and deplete the
darkness that
destroys. Why? All the good reasons why!



I Stood Alone

I stood alone in terror
within a white mist
with rushing sounds of the wind around me.
I stood alone
as the winds got stronger around me,
the red sky was vastly approaching
at last the red sky parted.
The rays of yellow light shined through
and there he stood waiting for me to come home.


. . . and you?

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