I am jazzed when an incarcerated woman gets really honest with herself in the circle.
..when she writes openly about the seamier side of life as an addict or hustler before imprisonment and names the temptations that still haunt her thoughts.
In my own experience, it’s difficult to disempower negative behavior and mindset in oneself until you begin naming the ‘demons’ clearly, along with your underlying motivations (what you’ve been getting out of it all).
Add to that process, the power of a circle of listening women witnessing to your forthright revelations with compassion and non-judgement, and you have a space for healing to begin or continue.
This week KG got real honest, writing a letter to that part of herself that sometimes feels drawn to return to chaotic, irresponsible living.
Next, she called upon the wise woman part of herself that she has been cultivating over the months with excellent help from numerous program providers in the prison facility. And she responded to the first letter with a second, full of what she is learning and understanding. Read on…
* * *
(Letter to Self)
Hey, how are you? I bet you can’t wait until you get out, so you can roll up a phat blunt with the homies. I see you got a couple of addresses and numbers from a few people here. I know that’s for when you max, you can come back and find a good place to hustle. Don’t worry, I got ya back with that. Make sure you get rid of all those lame-ass people numbers and get with the ones who know where to get the bupes.
And that cover letter you’re working on, forget about it. Nobody even uses those things any more. You don’t need a work readiness certificate. What’s it genna get you, top pay? And all those days you go out on work crew, why don’t you stay at home and put your feet up and relax?
Just looking out for you. Love you. – KG
(Response back to Self)
Hey, I’m fine. I can’t wait to go home, true, but no, I won’t be smoking again because all the years of smoking, I’ve learned at Phoenix House, that my brain is addicted. So I’m currently working on new ways to unchain and heal my brain. Yeah, I got a few addresses and numbers too. That’s so I can write and keep in touch with those I consider real friends, hard to come by. Some might be lame, but that’s okay because all that I’ve learned, I realize that I’m lame now too.
And although that cover letter might be hard, it’s okay, I know God has my back, so I will conquer that too. When I’m done with it, I will help complete my work readiness certificate, which will help me get that state or city job that I always wanted, and I can add the jobs I perform daily to my resume, and the hard work to my abs!
Keep the faith. I love you too. – KG