closing the gap between what you and I see

Photo credit: Yellow Earth 168/Flickr

Photo credit: Yellow Earth 168/Flickr

Sometimes another’s perception of us as beautiful, gifted and clever can feel like a continent away…

We may feel the inner angst of limitation and less than, unable to rip ourselves from the grasp of dwindling self-esteem.

Yet this other person’s (authentic!) vision of us gives us a strand of hope to hold onto.  It keeps us moving forward through our own mental quagmire and challenging life circumstances.

It is our ability to hold this tension of opposite views with patience and without judgment that ultimately pulls us toward healthier, truer perceptions of self.  But, not without some struggle…

JL’s piece from this week’s writing circle captures her own process in this regard:

She says I have talent, I dance before her,
I make her laugh until tears roll down her
reddened cheeks, my poetry makes her cry
for other reasons

She says she thinks I’m the only one who
doesn’t see it in me,
how far I will go in this world, how many lives
I have to touch

And I want to believe, I ache with the hunger to see,
I thumb-wrestle with that wonderful fantasy
that what she says is really what will be
But in the quiet of my mind, my character defects
lengthen and twist and strangle 

And I choke, gasping for a glimpse of that hope
knowing that I am too lazy, my motivation is dim
for all the want and the need, my true reality
is terribly grim  

I have changed, I have tried but deep down inside
there is no glowing light, there is no place to hide
I wish I believed her reflection of me
but my inner need for perfection just won’t
set me free

So if prayers can be silent, or mere words on a page
God, please help, help me please, find my way
out of this cage. 

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