i am waiting for me

Marilyn Kalish

One of the most anticipated moments in each inside writing circle comes near the end, just before the final chime signals the close. It is the moment when one of the 14-plus women around the circle hopes to be the one to read the week’s ‘found’ poem – a weaving of words written, spoken and recorded the previous week by the women in the circle. These words find their way into a poem that is in the truest sense a community creation.

The resulting piece is wholly new and different from any one of the previous week’s writings, at the same time as it contains the seed and memory of each woman’s individual writing. It is a gift to us all, both anticipated and cherished around the circle. In fact, last night one of our long-time writers emphatically declared that these poems are so powerful in their own right, they deserve to become an independent publication. Duly noted!

Some days I am emotionless
my heart waiting for me
to get rid of being scared
to be carefree;

waiting for the months to pass
to embrace life in a new context
bring truth from my past forward.
It’s OK through my actions to change,

for love’s gravity to pull me close to center
plant her foot firmly in my life.
My past may creep up on me –
always felt like I was in a cocoon,
a prisoner to my addiction –

my truth is, it’s time to let loose.
Awaiting the sunrise
I take my first plunge,
my first flight, feel
like a butterfly for the first time.

Artistic memories of day’s freedoms
lap waves of pink air at my toes.
There is a river now flowing very fast
giving flight to the whole world.

Beauty lies everywhere, even deep
within the heart of destruction.
Water meets stone,
my world, my breath.

I desperately don’t want to drown
but to create my own nest:
open to a relationship of tender heart
powerful, destructive, transformative healing
to fill oceans.

The truth within me is
I want to feel free of my past;
don’t’ forget I have a rainbow over me,
an angel of freedom centered.
Together they become one.

I am bright and unexpected;
I will grow. I will shine. I will flourish.

2 thoughts on “i am waiting for me

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