could anyone know me more than me?!

Writing to lines from the poem by Kate Light, There Comes the Strangest Moment, JD found her truth and shared it in these few powerful raw lines.

I didn’t think anyone could possibly know me more than me. No one could possibly see the storm raging inside of me. No one could see the pain and torment I was causing myself . . . could they?

I thought I covered it well with my mask of drugs and make-up. It didn’t matter they saw right through it and begged me to get help. But I wanted nothing to do with it. So I went on slowly killing myself a little bit each day. I didn’t think there was any other way, especially after I pushed everyone else that cared about me very far away.

It must not have been my time to go, because God intervened and had me locked up. I was so angry with Him, because I knew what I wanted and getting clean wasn’t it. I was convinced my downward spiral into hell was what I wanted.

Then one day, everything I thought before broke free; or maybe, it was the drugs clearing out of me; but I was grateful to be in jail. My time here is coming to an end and I know this is the real me, the one I was afraid to see. I don’t know what about her scared me so much because she is the most spiritually fit me I’ve ever seen. I have hopes and dreams today, instead of a death wish.


2 thoughts on “could anyone know me more than me?!

  1. Sister Joanne Kaminski, CSSF says:

    JD, keep up your hopes and dreams. Taking one day at a time, turn to God and ask for strength. He WILL give it to you. I will keep you in my prayers. Love, Sister Joanne [a Sister of St. Felix of Cantalice]


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